{"id":2660,"date":"2015-07-17T10:36:56","date_gmt":"2015-07-17T10:36:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/home-improvement-for-the-zombie-apocalypse\/"},"modified":"2018-02-21T08:49:23","modified_gmt":"2018-02-21T08:49:23","slug":"home-improvement-for-the-zombie-apocalypse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/home-improvement-for-the-zombie-apocalypse\/","title":{"rendered":"Home Improvement for the Zombie Apocalypse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<!-- SEO Ultimate Plus (https:\/\/seoultimateplus.com) - Code Inserter module -->\n<script async>(function(s,u,m,o,j,v){j=u.createElement(m);v=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0];j.async=1;j.src=o;j.dataset.sumoSiteId='b68b392479b5981b8acf46565e9fe32a0734fc21a1f7c1e60121eaa6ca1a1c64';v.parentNode.insertBefore(j,v)})(window,document,'script','\/\/load.sumo.com\/');<\/script>\n<!-- \/SEO Ultimate Plus -->\n\n<div><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">When the world finally falls prey to a zombie apocalypse (it&#8217;s going to happen, we&#8217;ve tempted fate too much, life will imitate art), we won&#8217;t all be as lucky as Rick Grimes and happen upon an abandoned maximum-security prison. Others of us, set in our ways and home proud, won&#8217;t let a little thing like the end of days force us from house and home.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cdn.film-book.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/the-prison-walkers-the-walking-dead-too-far-gone-01-1280x720.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" align=\"none\" \/><\/p>\n<div><span size=\"1\" style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">image source:\u00a0http:\/\/film-book.com\/the-walking-dead-season-4-episode-8-too-far-gone-images-amc\/<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span size=\"1\" style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div>\n<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; 0 0 1 52 299 Property Data MEdia LLP 2 1 350 14.0 &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 10]&gt; \/* Style Definitions *\/table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:\"Table Normal\";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-parent:\"\";mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0cm;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;}&lt;![endif]--><!--StartFragment--><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\">\n<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; 0 0 1 326 1863 Property Data MEdia LLP 15 4 2185 14.0 &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 9]&gt; &lt;![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 10]&gt; \/* Style Definitions *\/table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:\"Table Normal\";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-parent:\"\";mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0cm;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;}&lt;![endif]--><!--StartFragment--><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">In that spirit, I&#8217;m here to suggest some ways to turn even the most suburban homesteads into strongholds fit for kings and survivalists alike. (Note: We should establish some rules before going further. When I mention zombies, I&#8217;m talking about the George A. Romero\/Robert Kirkman zombies, not the rabid berserkers or intelligent gene freaks of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=JbcuK8WBKE8\"><i>28 Days Later<\/i><\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=J58VPpPrmQU\"><i>Resident Evil<\/i><\/a> fame. Just the relentless and meandering flesh-eaters risen again to outnumber the living).<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">1)<span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Bricks: <\/b><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Sounds simple, but it&#8217;ll be a huge time saver in the long run. No need for alarms or night watchmen covering the doors and windows, just brick them all up. Entry and exit through the roof, because as we all know: zombies cant use ladders.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">2)<span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Zip-Lines: <\/b><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Just touching the ground can sometimes be the difference between life and dinner in a zombie apocalypse. Save yourself the trouble by setting up zip-lines between your <a class=\"wl-entity-page-link\" title=\"houses\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/house\/\" data-id=\"http:\/\/data.wordlift.io\/wl0502\/entity\/house;http:\/\/rdf.freebase.com\/ns\/m.03jm5;http:\/\/dbpedia.org\/resource\/House\" >house<\/a> and other important places, like the shops or the petrol station. Getting back might be a challenge, but then what walk of life isn&#8217;t without its obstacles.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\" style=\"margin-left: 36.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;\">\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">3)<span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Moat: <\/b><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Before we had Yale and Chubb, the only way to secure a <a class=\"wl-entity-page-link\" title=\"Housing estate\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/housing-estate\/\" data-id=\"http:\/\/data.wordlift.io\/wl0502\/entity\/housing_estate;http:\/\/rdf.freebase.com\/ns\/m.01rtvp;http:\/\/dbpedia.org\/resource\/Housing_estate\" >home<\/a> was to dig a trench and fill it with water. Now, unless you have a good line on man-eating sea life that will deal with the waste, I would suggest the <\/span><a style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=c07X_UkU8wQ\">Bear Grylls of feng shui<\/a><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\"> and build a dry moat, floored with spikes and topped with loose leaves and branches.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\" style=\"margin-left: 36.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;\">\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">4)<span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Guts: <\/b><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">No, not your guts &#8211; \u00a0far too tasty. No, I&#8217;m talking zombie guts, fashioned into window dressings, bird feeders or just left out in strips on the front path. It has been well established that zombies can smell meat that&#8217;s gone off. If your house smells like a butcher&#8217;s Biffa and not a butcher&#8217;s counter, likely as not the walking corpses will breeze past you like you&#8217;re a <\/span><a style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=k4gQeZHNQec\">busker on the Underground<\/a><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><b><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><b><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\"><span size=\"2\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">5)<span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-family: 'Times New Roman';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/b><b style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Move to Hackney: <\/b><span style=\"text-indent: -18pt;\">Because not even the living dead will go near you in that neighbourhood.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><!--EndFragment--><\/p>\n<p class=\"Prose\">\n<p><!--EndFragment--><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 When the world finally falls prey to a zombie apocalypse (it&#8217;s going to happen, we&#8217;ve tempted fate too much, life will imitate art), we won&#8217;t all be as lucky as Rick Grimes and happen upon an abandoned maximum-security prison.<span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/home-improvement-for-the-zombie-apocalypse\/\">Read more &#8250;<\/a><\/div>\n<p><!-- end of .read-more --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wl_entities_gutenberg":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","spay_email":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"wl_entity_type":[602],"modified_by":null,"_wl_alt_label":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","wl:entity_url":"http:\/\/data.wordlift.io\/wl0502\/post\/home_improvement_for_the_zombie_apocalypse","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2660"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/41"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2660"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15339,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2660\/revisions\/15339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2660"},{"taxonomy":"wl_entity_type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thehouseshop.com\/property-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wl_entity_type?post=2660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}